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[26 Mar 2005|09:07pm]
[ mood | blank ]

hey everyone- got a new journal!!!





12 forgot the words dance along to the song

[26 Mar 2005|06:42am]
[ mood | pissed. ]

hey guys.. im mad so i thought i would write in my journal.. okay so i just joined this advice community and i asked them for help.. uhmm.. yeah so afetr i posted my entry in the community, i came to find that Liz had written in it before i did.. and i knew she was in this community so i thought i'd read what she needed advice on.. well THAT was a mistake. cause yes it was about me, obviously.. but i also found that she called JOSH about me. yeah everyone remember josh? that guy that stole my heart not too long ago and failed to return it? yeah that's him. and now he hates me EVEN MORE than he used to. it's just that she is portraying me as this horrible HORRIBLE person. as if i'm a selfish, rotten, immature, pathetic little bitch. that's what everyone got the impression of anyway cause those are the kind of comments she recieved on this entry. so why do i even HAVE any friends? apparently i'm just a stupid, jealous, immature, horrible girl. so why does anyone like me to begin with? how do i hold onto friends? i fail to find an answer to such questions. the girl that i trusted most in the world- she doesn't know me at all. that's kind of frightening. so i just needed to VENT. in case you couldn't already tell.

6 forgot the words dance along to the song

[24 Mar 2005|06:02pm]
[ mood | confused ]

hey everyone.. alright so i'm in an updating mood.. uhm yeah i need help. there's this guy that likes me, and he's amazing. he's so great and he's everything i want, but for some reason i can't say that i like him. i don't know- i just nee help i don't know whats wrong with me. liek hmm lemme try and describe it.. i am the ULTIMATE romantic. i love everything about love and romance and all that sweet stuff like kisses in the rain and cuddling, and i watch pacey and joey on dawson's creek and i just think of how bad i want that. and then when someone comes along that could potentially give me that, it's like i close myself off to any possible feeling of love or even liking that person. it's like i can wish and dream and pray for true love and the most romantic guy in the world to come along and sweep me off my feet, but when he did, it's like i would just run away and make some lame exscuse not to be with him. i don't understand any of this and i need help. the only person that is an exception to these stupid feelings is josh. when he liked me, i wasn't scared at all. i loved him so much and i was SO happy when he liked me, we just never ended up going out. why can't i feel like that with anyone else? pleaseee help me. thank you.. but on a lighter note- me and kimie are going to nora's house soon so we'll have fun =) alright byeee <33

7 forgot the words dance along to the song

[24 Mar 2005|08:43am]
can Everybody do me a favor and post their favorite songs pleasee- i need more songs to download - and i want to see how many people actually PATICIPATE in this lol- hehe i stayed home from school today cause it was a delay and delays are pointless =) lol so yeah byeee _____ <33
17 forgot the words dance along to the song

[23 Mar 2005|08:32pm]
[ mood | tired ]

hey.. well today was fun. not really it was really weird lol. okay so let's recap:

1st Italian: worked on our "easter egg" project, and learned about contractions and i talked to Luke and Kristen

2nd Career Exploration: worked on our cover letters for our resumes and i talked to Jules and Lindsay the whole time

3rd English: watched more people present their projects- still i didn't go yet =(

4th Gym: wow HILARIOUS class- me and chris and kimie did STEP UP AEROBICS BABY hahaha that was embarassing/fun/weird.

Lunch: really awkward considering the whole me and liz situation but nothing really exciting happened.

5th Algebra: did homework and took notes, what else is new? oh and i talked to margaret.

6th Science: depressing class, did a worksheet- and the only person who got one wrong answer on it was ME. yes cause i'm an idiot and everyone else is smarter than me. lol- uhm yeah so then i signed up for the American Cancer Society and i get to help raise money =)

History: took a lot of notes and talked to dear Dan

alright so then after school me and nora came back to my house and she of course, LOVED my room cause uhm- who couldn't? lol yeah so we watched Passions and then she tried to read and i tried to nap but COULDN'T because my effing dad wouldn't stop yelling at my effing sister about her trying out for effing cheerleading- wow waste of life. lol no offense to anyone. but yeah uhmm so.. then nora went home and i went to my mom's work and we took some Biscotti man =) lol and then we went to my school for my language award night thing. and i got a fricken ceritificate for the highest average in the class. thats fun huh? a CERTIFICATE. i deserve a trophy. lol anyways.. chris actually CAME lol and my mom liked him so that was definitely good considering he wants to drive me around on satutrday. fun can't wait lol. so yeah we sat and ate and listened to the super AWESOME play that they had. uhm so anyways.. yeah it is snowing now. ITS SUPPOSED TO BE SPRING DAMN IT. lol jeez. well maybe a delay tomorrow- thatd be fun. uhmm yeah so leave the comments cause comments are love <33 lol byeeeeee __________


2 forgot the words dance along to the song

[22 Mar 2005|08:52pm]
[ mood | psh i don't know. ]

hey everyone.. yeah so the THIRD time of me updating today lol.. okay so me and liz.. we KIND OF resolved our problems.. we had like a two hour conversation about all the things that have happened between us and i tried to tell her that the past is the past and she argued that it makes us who we are today and i agreed and i said "but we have to let it go" and yeah we had basically a bunch of little arguments about different things.. basically.. we agreed we're gonna take some time apart from each other because i hurt her.. yep i screwed up again. i knew i would. uhm so anyways- yeah we're basically TRYING to grow apart which will eventually get to me but right now it just seems like the answer.. so i will be without my best friend for some time. but like i said- its what we need. so uhm yeah.. its weird. like last week, we were best friends and everything was great. and this week all of our little problems became ENORMOUS and thats fun NOT REALLY lol but josh and chris really helped me to feel better so they cheered me up. yeah tomorrow nora's coming over =) that will cheer me up hopefully. and on saturday, chris is taking me out to leave my problems behind lol. yeah well we're just haning out so that will be fun. anyways.. leave comments <33

10 forgot the words dance along to the song

[22 Mar 2005|03:54pm]
[ mood | confused ]

hey.. yeah just updating cause i'm in an updating mood lol and then i have to write my effing lab report =( ew. lol science sucks. anyway.. yeah me and liz still aren't talking.. i would apologize to her- but i have nothing to apologize for. i'm sorry but liz if you decide to come across this journal entry- I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. and if you think i did, well it would be nice to confront me instead of running away from it. ahh i'm mad- why does she expect me to do all the work? she's my best friend, and we haven't been talking for over two days and i don't like it, but i don't have a choice. if i ask her to talk to me again, she'd just say no and she'd keep holding this grudge and go on thinking that she's the bigger person.. because i am NOT about to initiate the first conversation between us- i always do. i'm sick of it.. now i'm not gonna get all pissed off and rip all our pictures up and take her out of my userinfo and get rid of anything that reminds me of her because i'm not that girl. i'm just gonna keep waiting i guess.. and that sucks too because tomorrow night i'm getting a big award and i wanted my best friend to be there for it. guess that's out of the question. =/ so yeah anyway- i'm gonna ho do my fricken science thing now.. byee <33

4 forgot the words dance along to the song

[22 Mar 2005|11:44am]
[ mood | content ]

wooooo new layout :) i love it to pieces <33 anyway- yeah i stayed home sick from school today so i do feel crappy but hopefully it will pass soon.. i got my dawson's creek poster in the mail and it is now hanging in my room on my wall =)!!! sorry i love dawson's creek and im just a TAD obsessed lol. yeah nora's coming over tomorrow to see my new room hehe can't wait.. and tomorrow night is when i go to the ceremony after school and recieve my award for having the second highest average in my italian class =) yayyy i'm excited. lol and we get to bring cannolis =) and chris is coming to "support me" lol yeahh alright anyway.. yeah i just thought that i'd update cause i haven't in a while.. uhm what else is new.. hmm.. i met a guy =) lol well not OFFICIALLY yet, just online. he sent me a pic of him and i sent him a pic of me.. he said i was beautiful i was like AWWWW and he is SO CUTE. i love it.. anyways.. for some not so great news- me and liz aren't speaking to each other- and i really hate it. its like something missing.. the worst part is that i don't think it matters to her cause if it did, wouldn't she apologize or tell me she misses talking to me or SOMETHING? i im-ed her last night while she was at CCD and told her all this stuff about how the only reason i was mad at her is cause she seemed so careless and i don't know.. i just miss her i guess. but anyway onto happier stuff.. so this guy i met- his name is josh (great name considering the history i've experienced with it lol) yeah he's SO SWEET- the only problem is that he lives in Ludlow =( yeah of course i knew it was too good to be true- why can't we find nice guys in my town? they're all gone. lol so yeah i'm gonna go watch Dawson's Creek some more because well, that's my life haha byeeee <33

"I'm still walking after you.."

13 forgot the words dance along to the song

[19 Mar 2005|02:51pm]
I want everyone who reads this to ask me 4 questions. Any 4, no matter how random. I have to answer them honestly.

please participate.. this could be interetsing lol <33
14 forgot the words dance along to the song

[16 Mar 2005|09:01pm]
hey everyone.. bleh. lol today was actually a good day. i've been having a good week so far- hopefully it will stay that way.. here's today's re-cap:

In the morning: well i WAS late for school but the line to the office waqs pretty short so THAT was good lol.. yeah thats about it- my dad bothered me this morning but i forgot what it was about.

Italian 1st period- worked on our "easter eggs" good times.

Career Exploration 2nd period- had a sub who is too old to hear. so that was fun lol. me and Jules went on livejournal and worked on our resumes.. kinda. lol

English 3rd period- another sub- wtf? lol. yeah and she was weird. me and sam and chris all worked together on some paper crap. it was FUN. lol not really..

Gym 4th period- talked to kimie and chris the whole time.. got yelled at for not doing any work.. lol and then i ddi some and coach des is like "THAT'S BETTER" i'm like hmm your cool. lol

Lunch- talked to the girls as usual- became envious of everyone who got st. patty's day flowers lol. and i don't even REMEMBER what i ate. thats bad. lol

Algebra 5th period- took notes, did homework, talked to Margaret- like i do EVERYDAY in that class lol.

Science 6th period- flew our paper airplanes for our effing lab. lol that was so boring and Benj yelled at beth haha. she NEVER gets yelled at it's about time lol. jk.

History 7th period- "took notes" lol and talked to Vicky and Dan.

yeah that was my wonderful day, and then after school, Alex took me and kimie to kimie's house and we pimped out there for a while lol eyah right. but it was a lot of fun- we took a massive amount of pictures lol and we were FREEZING cold and we got cannoli's and wow they wwere good lol.. yeah it was a lot of fun kimie can always make me laugh i love her lol good times. we tried to sleep but it didn't work. so i'm gonna go do that now- byebye <33


oh and i found the PERFECT quote to define me..

"She sensed it was not enough.
She wanted something else, something different,
something more.
Passion and romance perhaps
or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms-
or perhaps just;
something as simple as not being second.."

thats EXACTLY how i feel. lol <33
16 forgot the words dance along to the song

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